Gary's Guidance

February 2019

Gary's Guidance: Top 5 and Bottom 5 Things Having to Do With Growing Older

What seniors need to consider during the process of aging regarding their well being. click here to read more »
September 2015

Gary's Guidance: Self-Advocacy

Throughout life and especially during the later years as one ages one may need the help of others to represent or advocate on their behalf.

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August 2015

Gary's Guidance: Curbing Your Fear by Taming Your Projections

This is the sequel to When There is Uncertainty…What’s to Fear?  That article addressed how uncertainty can cause projective thinking that generates fear and stress. 

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July 2015

Gary's Guidance: When There is Uncertainty…What’s to Fear

There is going to be uncertainty during the course of our life span, but how we go about dealing with uncertainty is what really matters. 

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June 2015

Gary's Guidance: Going, Going, Gone Are the Days of Driving

This edition is the sequel from the last Gary’s Guidance, To Drive or Not to Drive.  For seniors still driving a car after decades the prospect of losing the right to drive is one of the greatest threats of losing independence. 

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May 2015

Gary's Guidance: To Drive or Not to Drive

One of the most difficult things to lose is no longer being able to drive a car.  Older adults often hear something like this:  “I don’t want you driving anymore because it is too dangerous” or “because of you’re getting lost, it is time to stop driving.” 

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April 2015

Gary's Guidance: Taking Care of Yourself as the Caregiver

Usually being a caregiver is the one who is on the front line of duty and the primary person responsible for providing care. 

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March 2015

Gary's Guidance: Self-determination: Balancing Safety with Being Autonomous

The right to self-determination may be a vanishing value as seniors’ age.  Seniors freedom of choice and being able to make decisions can be impinged upon by adult children wanting to protect parents, or by others who happen to be stakeholders in the life of an elderly person. 

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February 2015

Gary's Guidance: Planning Checklist for Aging Well

As people age often seniors and their family members want to know how to get their affairs in order.  Even before retirement age arrives one needs to be prepared for unexpected life events that may have a disruptive impact upon their life. 

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January 2015

Gary's Guidance: What’s a Contextual Relationship Got to Do with Aging?

During a life span significant relationships existed for older adults whether they involved family members, friends, or people at work.  Most of us have benefited from having a support system. 

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November 2014

Gary's Guidance: Using Compassionate Deception for Ensuring the Safety and Well Being of Elders

There is some controversy involving whether family members should lie to their aging parents.  When is it OK to lie, or under what circumstances modify the truth or facts? 

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October 2014

Gary's Guidance: Denial of One’s Limitations Can Be a Dangerous Thing

I have heard stories shared by adult children and spouses being embattled with their loved ones who have Alzheimer’s disease or some other type of dementia.

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August 2014

Gary's Guidance: More about Siblings and Aging Parents with Dementia

One of the more common things about adult siblings who are involved in caring for their aging parents is that gender becomes a basis for which responsibility is determined.

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July 2014

Gary's Guidance: Sibling’s and Aging Parents: Whose Turn Is It When Caring Is Not Fair

There are many family dynamics that come into play when adult children become involved in the care giving and decision-making for their mother or father diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia.

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May 2014

Gary's Guidance: Things to Know About Hoarding

What is someone else’s junk may be someone else’s treasure. So stopping by a roadside trash day pick-up just might result in the collector’s item you have been looking for.

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April 2014

Gary's Guidance: Deconstructing Blame

Being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or another type dementia can be stressful.  Many times there is several family members involved in care giving while some members of the family may not be directly providing care, but serve another role such as paying for senior services. 

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March 2014

Gary's Guidance: Some Helpful Tips for Senior Wellness

One of the many upsides to aging is that through time we gain much experience which can translate to having wisdom and insight into the many different conditions in life that we may encounter. 

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January 2014

Gary's Guidance: Characteristers Of A Therapeutic Interaction

As an elder care consultant and my working in the capacity of a geriatric care manager I have engaged hundreds of elders who needed help. 

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December 2013

Gary's Guidance: Some Thoughts about Being Supportive With the Elderly

Some Thoughts about Being Supportive With the Elderly

Most people agree that it is important to have a support system.  A support system is generally thought of as a network of people who may offer emotional or moral support, practical advice, and assistance in achieving specific objectives.

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October 2013

Gary's Guidance: Talking To Your Doctor

Many of us are OK with going to a medical doctor for an annual routine office visit or for follow-up appointments. 

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September 2013

Gary's Guidance: Overcoming Stress

Previously, I wrote about Taking a Look at Stress and below are some ways in which you can deal with stress. 

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August 2013

Gary's Guidance: Taking a Look at Stress

Perhaps you come into contact with someone you hear saying:  “I am so stressed out.”  People talk about being stressed, but what actually is it? 

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February 2013

Gary's Guidance: Just A Little Fooling Thyself or Is It Self-Deception

Just a Little Fooling Thyself or Is It Self-Deception 

The subject of self-deception is a very complex phenomenon, and since this text is limited to 250 words, self-deception will be simply addressed. 

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December 2012

Gary's Guidance: Guilt

Gary’s Guidance


In light of my working with older adults and their children I have had ample opportunities to deal with the emotional aspects of caregivers or those directly involved in supporting a senior’s aging in place or residing in a personal care facility. 

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November 2012

Gary's Guidance: Dealing with Grief

Dealing with Grief 

I was recently approached by a prominent elderly woman who resides in a personal care facility, and she wanted to know how I felt about the recent deaths of residents that we both knew. 

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October 2012

Gary's Guidance: Meeting My Contact Needs

Gary’s Guidance 

Meeting My Contact Needs

Seniors are often faced with loneliness and feeling disconnected from their adult children.  I often here seniors say they do not want to be a burden to their children while at the same time long for having more contact with their family. 

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September 2012

Gary's Guidance: Making Mistakes and Then What?

Gary’s Guidance

Making Mistakes and Then What? 

 You have heard Alexander Pope’s famous quote:  “to err is human.”  Or what was it:  “to be human is to err?” 

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August 2012

Gary's Guidance: Loneliness

Gary’s Guidance


Loneliness more often than not silently exists, especially so with older adults.  Being alone is different from being lonely. 

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July 2012

Gary's Guidance: There’s No Denying the Decline of Aging

Gary’s Guidance

There’s No Denying the Decline of Aging 

We can view aging in many ways such as referring to post-retirement as living in the “golden years.” 

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April 2012

Gary's Guidance: Denial, Denial, and More Denial

Gary’s Guidance

Denial, Denial and More Denial

It is quite likely that you have encountered someone who insists that something did not happen, or what you viewed to be a problem simply did not exist in the mind of the other person. 

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March 2012

Gary's Guidance: More than Just Showing Up


Gary’s Guidance

More than Just Showing Up

In my work I have opportunities to interact with employees working in various senior living communities. 

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February 2012

Gary's Guidance: Small Significant Things That Make One Feel Alive


We are more often than not a consumer of information on the topic of health care. We are exposed to numerous self-help publications, magazine articles on how to improve health, health care tips on dieting, and information about health care insurance.

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January 2012

Gary's Guidance: Reinventing Who We Are

With the start of a new year some of you may have already reflected on how you fared in 2011. Perhaps only a few moments were taken to think about what transpired and which things actually mattered.

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December 2011

Gary's Guidance: Forgiveness

As we are upon the seasonal holidays with Thanksgiving recently passed, I want to address forgiving as a means to emotional well being. 

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November 2011

Gary's Guidance: Illness and Aging Can Be a Positive Force in Healing Oneself

Have you heard how the human body naturally heals itself?  The two week rule is that in about two weeks it will be better. 

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October 2011

Gary's Guidance: The Glass is Half Full

Gary’s Guidance

Glass is Half-Full

Residents, staff and families have recently dealt with hurricanes Irene and Lee and the uninvited flood waters that came as part of the experience. 

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September 2011

Gary's Guidance: Something to Fuss About or Is It Fussing Over Nothing

What is all the fuss about?  We do have a choice to fuss or not.  Sometimes it is just so hot like a heat index of 105˚ degrees Fahrenheit which was recently experienced. 

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August 2011

Gary's Guidance: Here and Now

I assume that most of us have heard the phrase:  “live in the moment,” but living in the moment is actually hard to do. 

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July 2011

Gary's Guidance: Being Happy

Time waits for no one!  So as life goes on, are you happy right now?  Finding happiness, whether in the moment of a day or experienced many times during a lifetime, is an evasive endeavor. 

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June 2011

Gary's Guidance: Deciding on What to Do

Gary’s Guidance

Deciding On What to Do

Last month I wrote about positive self-talk and its importance to being mentally or emotionally healthy. 

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May 2011

Gary's Guidance: Positive Self-Talk

What’s up with the positive vibes?  Did you know that we are behaviorally conditioned, and that our brain is oriented to negative thinking? 

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April 2011

Gary's Guidance: Change of Seasons and Positive Reinforcement

Thank goodness that Day Light Savings Time has finally arrived and spring quickly followed (officially on the calendar) a week later on March 20th. 

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March 2011

Gary's Guidance: Meaningful Occupation

Last month I wrote about the importance of routines and how we gravitate to what is comfortable and familiar.  More so, developing a positive habit helps us with being emotionally settled and feeling comfortable. 

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February 2011

Gary's Guidance: Routines

People are creatures of habit. We often work hard at trying to make things right for ourselves, and once we get things right we want to keep things the same. 

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January 2011

Gary's Guidance: New Year’s Resolutions

If you are like most people, you made one or more New Year’s resolutions.  Perhaps some of your resolutions this year are the same ones you made last year. 

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December 2010

Gary's Guidance: Keeping Spirits High During the Holiday Season

The holiday season usually brings a variety of opportunities for one to spend time with their family, friends, and even meet new acquaintances. 

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November 2010

Gary's Guidance: Managing Change

How do you respond to change? Do you go with the flow and take change in stride?  Do you resist change because we fear the unknown? 

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