Articles

Throughout life and especially during the later years as one ages one may need the help of others to represent or advocate on their behalf.

This is the sequel to When There is Uncertainty…What’s to Fear?  That article addressed how uncertainty can cause projective thinking that generates fear and stress. 

There is going to be uncertainty during the course of our life span, but how we go about dealing with uncertainty is what really matters. 

This edition is the sequel from the last Gary’s Guidance, To Drive or Not to Drive.  For seniors still driving a car after decades the prospect of losing the right to drive is one of the greatest threats of losing independence. 

One of the most difficult things to lose is no longer being able to drive a car.  Older adults often hear something like this:  “I don’t want you driving anymore because it is too dangerous” or “because of you’re getting lost, it is time to stop driving.” 

Usually being a caregiver is the one who is on the front line of duty and the primary person responsible for providing care. 

The right to self-determination may be a vanishing value as seniors’ age.  Seniors freedom of choice and being able to make decisions can be impinged upon by adult children wanting to protect parents, or by others who happen to be stakeholders in the life of an elderly person. 

As people age often seniors and their family members want to know how to get their affairs in order.  Even before retirement age arrives one needs to be prepared for unexpected life events that may have a disruptive impact upon their life. 

During a life span significant relationships existed for older adults whether they involved family members, friends, or people at work.  Most of us have benefited from having a support system. 

There is some controversy involving whether family members should lie to their aging parents.  When is it OK to lie, or under what circumstances modify the truth or facts? 

I have heard stories shared by adult children and spouses being embattled with their loved ones who have Alzheimer’s disease or some other type of dementia.

One of the more common things about adult siblings who are involved in caring for their aging parents is that gender becomes a basis for which responsibility is determined.

There are many family dynamics that come into play when adult children become involved in the care giving and decision-making for their mother or father diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia.

What is someone else’s junk may be someone else’s treasure. So stopping by a roadside trash day pick-up just might result in the collector’s item you have been looking for.

Being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or another type dementia can be stressful.  Many times there is several family members involved in care giving while some members of the family may not be directly providing care, but serve another role such as paying for senior services. 

One of the many upsides to aging is that through time we gain much experience which can translate to having wisdom and insight into the many different conditions in life that we may encounter. 

As an elder care consultant and my working in the capacity of a geriatric care manager I have engaged hundreds of elders who needed help. 

Some Thoughts about Being Supportive With the Elderly

Most people agree that it is important to have a support system.  A support system is generally thought of as a network of people who may offer emotional or moral support, practical advice, and assistance in achieving specific objectives.

Many of us are OK with going to a medical doctor for an annual routine office visit or for follow-up appointments. 

Previously, I wrote about Taking a Look at Stress and below are some ways in which you can deal with stress. 

Perhaps you come into contact with someone you hear saying:  “I am so stressed out.”  People talk about being stressed, but what actually is it? 

Just a Little Fooling Thyself or Is It Self-Deception 

The subject of self-deception is a very complex phenomenon, and since this text is limited to 250 words, self-deception will be simply addressed. 

Gary’s Guidance

Guilt 

In light of my working with older adults and their children I have had ample opportunities to deal with the emotional aspects of caregivers or those directly involved in supporting a senior’s aging in place or residing in a personal care facility. 

Dealing with Grief 

I was recently approached by a prominent elderly woman who resides in a personal care facility, and she wanted to know how I felt about the recent deaths of residents that we both knew. 

Gary’s Guidance 

Meeting My Contact Needs

Seniors are often faced with loneliness and feeling disconnected from their adult children.  I often here seniors say they do not want to be a burden to their children while at the same time long for having more contact with their family. 

Gary’s Guidance

Making Mistakes and Then What? 

 You have heard Alexander Pope’s famous quote:  “to err is human.”  Or what was it:  “to be human is to err?” 

Gary’s Guidance

Loneliness 

Loneliness more often than not silently exists, especially so with older adults.  Being alone is different from being lonely. 

Gary’s Guidance

There’s No Denying the Decline of Aging 

We can view aging in many ways such as referring to post-retirement as living in the “golden years.” 

Gary’s Guidance

Denial, Denial and More Denial

It is quite likely that you have encountered someone who insists that something did not happen, or what you viewed to be a problem simply did not exist in the mind of the other person. 

Gary’s Guidance

More than Just Showing Up

In my work I have opportunities to interact with employees working in various senior living communities. 

We are more often than not a consumer of information on the topic of health care. We are exposed to numerous self-help publications, magazine articles on how to improve health, health care tips on dieting, and information about health care insurance.

With the start of a new year some of you may have already reflected on how you fared in 2011. Perhaps only a few moments were taken to think about what transpired and which things actually mattered.

As we are upon the seasonal holidays with Thanksgiving recently passed, I want to address forgiving as a means to emotional well being. 

Have you heard how the human body naturally heals itself?  The two week rule is that in about two weeks it will be better. 

Gary’s Guidance

Glass is Half-Full

Residents, staff and families have recently dealt with hurricanes Irene and Lee and the uninvited flood waters that came as part of the experience. 

What is all the fuss about?  We do have a choice to fuss or not.  Sometimes it is just so hot like a heat index of 105˚ degrees Fahrenheit which was recently experienced. 

I assume that most of us have heard the phrase:  “live in the moment,” but living in the moment is actually hard to do. 

Time waits for no one!  So as life goes on, are you happy right now?  Finding happiness, whether in the moment of a day or experienced many times during a lifetime, is an evasive endeavor. 

Gary’s Guidance

Deciding On What to Do

Last month I wrote about positive self-talk and its importance to being mentally or emotionally healthy. 

What’s up with the positive vibes?  Did you know that we are behaviorally conditioned, and that our brain is oriented to negative thinking? 

Thank goodness that Day Light Savings Time has finally arrived and spring quickly followed (officially on the calendar) a week later on March 20th. 

Last month I wrote about the importance of routines and how we gravitate to what is comfortable and familiar.  More so, developing a positive habit helps us with being emotionally settled and feeling comfortable. 

People are creatures of habit. We often work hard at trying to make things right for ourselves, and once we get things right we want to keep things the same. 

If you are like most people, you made one or more New Year’s resolutions.  Perhaps some of your resolutions this year are the same ones you made last year. 

The holiday season usually brings a variety of opportunities for one to spend time with their family, friends, and even meet new acquaintances. 

How do you respond to change? Do you go with the flow and take change in stride?  Do you resist change because we fear the unknown?